Life as it goes

 I have changed a lot. You would think you know yourself but you really do not, not until you spend a few months by yourself, away from people. We are social beings. The way we perceive ourselves is affected by our actions and reactions with others, therefore the images we form of ourselves do not accurately depict our true personalities, they merely depict who we wish people perceived us as. Our minds subconsciously emphasize on certain qualities we like and - also subconsciously - put more effort into choosing actions according to these qualities. There is nothing wrong with that, you know, as long as you continue interacting with people. But once you are alone, you will start discovering your real personality. It will be you and yourself alone. You will discover who you really are when there is nobody around to judge you or affect your judgement about yourself. That, my dear, is scary.

What do you know? It is my best friend's wedding tomorrow. How do I feel? Nostalgic, I think. I miss him. Let me tell you about the things we used to do. He loved Napoli and I loved Ajax. We were crazy about football. We knew the names of every promising young player before they were bought by big clubs. We used to choose a weak team in FIFA video games and try to win championships with it. We never tried to get the great players into our club because that is boring! We were always different than other people, and we loved uncommon things, like Napoli, and Ajax! We used to make plans to get out of our English class in 10th grade. We would list all the gadgets we have (pens, watches, anything!) and then create a plan to get out. Sometimes we would come up with absolutely ridiculous excuses to get out of the class. It was so funny that Hussam ran into a wall one day. Let him tell you about this some time. We met in 8th grade. First couple of we...

I cannot fire guns in my dreams. I just never could. The trigger would always be stuck, and I will have to pull it realy hard, really really hard to fire the gun. It is impractical, and I always get swamped by enemies in dreams because of this. It will be very interesting to know why I have this issue in my dreams. I am planning to go to a shooting range to fire guns for the first time in my life. I wonder if that would solve this issue in my dreams, it will be of the utmost interest to me if it does.

I have become a very negative person, and I do not even know why. Sometimes I think it is because my future is uncertain. When I used to be working back home, I did not worry about anything. I was the most chill person you would ever meet. But right now, I am constantly worried about something.

I hate mistreating people the same way they mistreat me. I promised myself I would never do that. You are always late to our meetings? That is fine, you are a flake, I am not. You cannot keep your word? That is fine, you are not man enough, I am. I am not on top of your priorities? That is fine, you are still on top of mine because you mean a lot to me. I treat people with my manners, not theirs. It is the right thing to do, but it sucks! When you get hurt, what do you do? A. You hurt back. B. You tell them you have been hurt. Never do A. Do B. When you tell people they have hurt you, how do they respond? A. They do not do it again. B. They do it again. They should do A. But many will do B. When they do it again, what do you do? A. Walk away. B. Hurt back. C. Accept you will be hurt from time to time because that is who they are. Walk away.

Our AI class has one final contest. We need to design and code Pacman agents to play against other student agents. The winner will claim all bragging rights! Enough of defense. Onto enemy terrain. Capture all their food! We are supposed to code a team that consists of 2 agents that work collectively (or separately, if you choose to) to win the game. The map of the game is divided into 2 symmetric halves. One team starts in Red, the other in Blue. Each team must eat all the food (dots) in the opponent's half of the map, and protect food in their own half. If your agent is currently inside your own half, it will be displayed as a Ghost that can defeat invading Pacman agents. If it is inside the opponent's half, it will be displayed as Pacman, who is vulnerable to opponent ghosts. A defeated Pacman agent will respawn in it is initial starting position in its own half. In this post, I will be describing my journey of developing my team of badass Pacman agents. Names ...

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