Mistakes

Sometimes I wonder what I have become. I have a mind that is automated to break things down to tiny chunks of information and construct the most efficient solution that maximizes my gains. What I often forget about is that these tiny chunks can often be people, and people are not parameters you manipulate to gain benefit.

I do not know how I got here, but I hate it. I hate not being able to feel. I hate using people and looking at them as assets. I hate how selfish I can be.

I guess I spent a lot of time alone that I do not even know what it is like to care for people anymore. I hate that too.

I really feel bad. And I am happy that I am. It has been a while since I felt bad about something. It is a feeling after all, and I want to feel more.

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