لا باس.
A friend's father passed away.
I am not able to find any way one could help somebody overcome the loss of a dear person. Death is different from anything we face during our lives because it is irreversible, it is supernatural to humans. When you break up with somebody, or lose a job, there is always so many things other people can do to cheer you up. You can find someone else, you can get another job, you can work harder to become better and win your next contest. People can help you realize all of that when you are sad about it. But you just cannot make up for someone's death, you have no influence on it if it happens, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Life takes away experiences from you during its ups and downs, but death takes away people, and people are unique, experiences are not.
My first impression was that my friend would experience a mental breakdown after the first shock, but only God knows how strong and confident she acted. I almost thought she was going through what I had when my grandmother passed away two years ago. I did not shed any tear for a whole week, and I once did not sleep for 3 straight days because I was seeing her in my dreams everyday before. People were telling me how strong I am, but the fact was that I might have been running away from it, well not me, my subconscious. I knew death was inevitable, and I did not question why it happened, I just did not feel anything. But I did break down like hell one week afterwards. My friend was not like that either, she was not running away, she was not afraid to speak his name or talk about him. She seemed content with it now, and so I thought she was not attached to his memories, and was ready to move on, but I was wrong, yet again. Every once in a while, she mentions him in on-point out-of-nowhere phrases, stuff like I would do that like my father did, or I will be a good driver just like dad was, and that is so sad and very lovely.
I realized I just should not assume anything about a grieving person. They could be feeling nothing at all, or everything altogether.
I am proud of how she is dealing with this, and I ask God that he shall help her and all those who have lost dear ones to overcome the sadness, and do good, in memories of their loved ones.
I am not able to find any way one could help somebody overcome the loss of a dear person. Death is different from anything we face during our lives because it is irreversible, it is supernatural to humans. When you break up with somebody, or lose a job, there is always so many things other people can do to cheer you up. You can find someone else, you can get another job, you can work harder to become better and win your next contest. People can help you realize all of that when you are sad about it. But you just cannot make up for someone's death, you have no influence on it if it happens, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Life takes away experiences from you during its ups and downs, but death takes away people, and people are unique, experiences are not.
My first impression was that my friend would experience a mental breakdown after the first shock, but only God knows how strong and confident she acted. I almost thought she was going through what I had when my grandmother passed away two years ago. I did not shed any tear for a whole week, and I once did not sleep for 3 straight days because I was seeing her in my dreams everyday before. People were telling me how strong I am, but the fact was that I might have been running away from it, well not me, my subconscious. I knew death was inevitable, and I did not question why it happened, I just did not feel anything. But I did break down like hell one week afterwards. My friend was not like that either, she was not running away, she was not afraid to speak his name or talk about him. She seemed content with it now, and so I thought she was not attached to his memories, and was ready to move on, but I was wrong, yet again. Every once in a while, she mentions him in on-point out-of-nowhere phrases, stuff like I would do that like my father did, or I will be a good driver just like dad was, and that is so sad and very lovely.
I realized I just should not assume anything about a grieving person. They could be feeling nothing at all, or everything altogether.
I am proud of how she is dealing with this, and I ask God that he shall help her and all those who have lost dear ones to overcome the sadness, and do good, in memories of their loved ones.
أسأل الله أن يرحمه ويغفر ذنوبه، وأن يتقبله من الصالحين، وموتى المسلمين جميعا. آمين.
Comments
Post a Comment